day 05 – your definition of love
Difficult question. I think it’s a lot of mental/emotional strength, sacrifice, unwavering faith/trust and the ability to live with an open heart/mind (or as we say in mandarin “能看得开”). Maroon 5 puts it very well when they say “it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along”.
I think everyone has their own definition of love. I feel that love is a lot about faith/trust, to believe in someone else even when every cell in your body is screaming at you not to, that it’s doomed to fail and it doesn’t make any sense, to pull out before they drag you down with them just because this person means so much to you you are willing to overrule all logical thought processes and trust in raw emotion. It’s about having that mental/emotional strength to help you ride out the storm when times are bad, that optimism that things will pick up and get better, that there’s always beautiful sunshine and clear blue skies after every storm. It’s making sacrifices, big or small, because you wouldn’t mind giving up something important to yourself for someone else to achieve something. Selflessness. Small sacrifices, like not going for your regular weekend football session to help the other half for a school project, or big sacrifices like moving to another country to start a new life because the person landed their dream job somewhere else.
It is also doing the right thing for someone, like shattering false hopes, scolding someone, playing the bad guy and when you do it you feel even worse than the person you’re doing it to.
And I think, most importantly, it’s about an open heart, to find it in yourself to forgive them for their mistakes even if they have done it before, to piece everything together even after it falls apart. 看得开. To be able just be yourself, uninhibited- quirks, flaws and all, because it is who you are and it is accepted by those who love you. To make the best of every moment you have together. To tolerate each other at their worst and bring out the very best in each other.
I guess until i find a better answer, this is probably it. Idealistic and naive maybe, but it keeps me going.